heroic_jawline | MHA #11, Wednesday after classes

Steve had been collecting Wanda's mail since their conversation on Thursday, but the small mountain of holiday gift catalogues was now the size of Patriot and the corgi had tried to climb up it twice, so he was back in front of Wanda's apartment to put them inside. He'd brought an empty garbage bag, too, to clear out her fridge: Wanda hadn't known when she was returning (he was choosing to think 'when' and not 'if') and he didn't want her to turn around and leave because the apartment smelled like regret and three month old salad greens.

He got to the door and frowned at the glowing red light coming out from under it. It wasn't extremely noticeable but how had he missed seeing that when he raced over on Thursday to be sure the everything was locked up? He should've gone in then to turn lights off. Wanda's electrical bill was going to be ridiculous and Steve felt a little guilty about that as he reached into his pocket for the spare key Wanda'd given him after the first oops-I'm-an-animal transformation.

"Wow," Steve said, opening the door and blinking at what was waiting for him inside. That was...that was a lot of plant there...taking up most of the living room. Apparently the pulsing red light was really good for it? He put the stack of mail down on the nearest flat surface and gave the plant a placating smile and a wave. You know, just in case. "I'm going to clean out the kitchen," he told it. "Do you need water or anything?"

The plant, being a plant, said nothing but Steve had been an Avenger--and in Fandom--too long to completely trust it. "This'll just take me a few minutes," he said, feeling a little silly about talking to a plant as he made his way towards what he hoped was the kitchen. He got halfway there when the plant reached out a branch? Tentacle? Something for his leg and yanked him back and then up.

Steve sighed heavily as he tried to get his bearings from Wanda's ceiling. "Terrific," he muttered, flailing for his cell phone. Tony was never going to stop laughing about this.

[OOC: For the husband! Wanda's apartment and contents modded with

scarlet_chaos's gracious approval.]

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"A combination of the two," Steve said, rattling the trash bag. "Let's do this first, then talk at home?"

He didn't want to accidentally upset the apartment, which might be a real thing.

Tony nodded at that one slowly. "I still think this was a trick to get me to help you clean," he said, picking up the scattered plant bits.

"Yes, I intentionally provoked a giant, living-room-eating plant to make you clean," Steve said dryly.

"You know, I wouldn't put it past you," Tony said as he worked. "You're stubborn like that."

Steve laughed through the regret that was the combination of super-senses and opening a fridge that had not been opened in a while. "Keep cleaning, Tony."

"J, reminder to buy a new plant for Wanda," he said, pointing at the suit.

"Reminder set," JARVIS' voice replied from it.

"Maybe a plastic one?" Steve advised. "A small plastic one."

"Plastic," Tony added, nodding at Steve for that. "A nice one? They make nice ones, right?"

"Sure?" Steve said, frowning as he came into the room. "I haven't bought a lot of plants."

"We'll say there are." He'd definitely spent for it to be a good one. "How bad is the fridge?"

Steve wrinkled his nose. "Well. Not great."

"That sounds like a job for a team leader," Tony called, very glad to not have to do it.

"Aren't you a team leader sometimes?" Steve asked.

"Different team!" That was a cop out. A total cop out. Because someone didn't want to touch slimy vegetables in plastic containers.

Steve's snort was extremely eloquent. "Think Wanda will mind if I don't recycle these containers?"

Because the environment, but also the grossness.

"J, add new containers to the list!"

Wanda was going to come back to a new apartment at this rate.

Steve chuckled and dumped something that might've been stew once into the bag. "Thank you!"

"She'll have a nice, clean place to come back to," Tony said, awkwardly sweeping up plant detritus. "It's a belated Christmas gift!"

"I'm sure she'll appreciate it," Steve said. "There's nothing worse than opening the door to a mess."

Well, there were a lot of worse things, but it was definitely high on the list of annoyances.

"Maybe a sentient plant bent on murder?" Anthony, no.

"I don't know if I'd jump straight to murder," Steve called over the sound of running water. Because he was also washing dishes.

"I would!" Of course he would.

"It was a plant," Steve said. "What was it going to do, eat me?"

"Some plants eat people!" Only in the Savage Land, really. Which he didn't even know about yet!

"I'm pretty sure Wanda would've mentioned her man eating plant!"

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