Stark Tower but Small [Saturday morning]

[heroic_jawline]

Jake Jensen was not, let's say, naturally a morning person. Yes, when he was being all he could be he was up with the rest of the Army, jogging and sweating like an idiot, but that wasn't his first inclination. Or second. His inclination was to be up until all hours absolutely destroying some kids in a first-person shooter game and then really rubbing it in that he was old enough to both buy beer and grow a sweet goatee. Sometimes he would take both of those abilities to a bar in search of companionship, which, though he didn't remember doing so last night, appeared to be the case this morning.

This bed was sweet. And enormous. He stretched out his arms and legs, reveling in the feel of sheets that had definitely been washed more recently than his had, and rubbed up against a hairy leg that definitely wasn't his.

Okay. Okay. This was fine. He was an open-minded guy! He--very smoothly, okay--slid his foot up that leg again trying to decide if the leg hair was free-spirited-lady-with-no-time-for-societal-expectations hair or, you know, dude hair.

Both of which would be fine! A-Okay! Nothing to freak out about! He was definitely not freaking out and he'd shoot anyone who said he was.

[OOC: Steve is Jake Jensen from The Losers for the weekend! Open for that dude he's definitely not married to.]

Comments

[imafuturist]

Well, Harry was considerably confused by his situation waking up. Enough that a guy in the bed was almost the least of his concerns because holy crap this place looked expensive.

"What the fuck?"

If he'd been kidnapped or something, he was gonna.. well not be able do much about it, but he'd try!

[heroic_jawline]

"What what the fuck?" Jensen replied intelligently.

[imafuturist]

"What what what the fuck!?" Oh. Oh no. They were intellectual equals.

[heroic_jawline]

"What what what--" Jensen. He shook his head, then held out his hand. "Hi. I'm Jake Jensen."

There. Couldn't be more polite. He was nailing this.

[imafuturist]

Harry eyed the hand like it was a cobra, waiting to strike. "You're an awful kidnapper, 'Jake.'"

Yeah, he for sure did finger quotes. Because alliteration? Fake. Ass. Name.

[heroic_jawline]

"I would be an amazing kidnapper," Jensen protested, "but I didn't kidnap you. Why would I kidnap you? Isn't this your place?"

Because it sure as shit wasn't his place.

[imafuturist]

"Ah ha! A good kidnapper would know that!" He was guessing on that front, honestly.

[heroic_jawline]

"Maybe you kidnapped me and you're doing mind games to get me to crack," Jensen decided.

[imafuturist]

"Why would I kidnap you?" Why does anyone do anything, Harry? "Do you know something?"

They were going to somehow end up fighting a crime syndicate. Well, Jensen would. Harry would probably get shot in the ear.

[heroic_jawline]

"Why would I tell you?" Jensen asked. "I don't know what you want to know!"

There was a reason Clay didn't let you plan things, Jensen.

[imafuturist]

"I don't want to know anything!" Wait. "I mean. I'm not a kidnapper, so I don't need to know that."

[heroic_jawline]

"Right," Jensen said. "So if I'm not a kidnapper, and you're not a kidnapper, maybe we've both been kidnapped?"

[imafuturist]

"Two, separately kidnapped people. In one room," Harry replied. "That feels convoluted."

And yet!

[heroic_jawline]

"Maybe we're gonna be used for our bodies," Jensen said. "I've heard some stuff, man."

Clearly that was the most logical jump for waking up in a giant-ass bed with a hot dude. Kidnapping ring.

[imafuturist]

Which meant now was the time for the bedroom door to rattle ominously, claws trying desperately to open it as Patty grew more and more impatient for his breakfast.

"What the fuck was that?" Harry hissed, picking up... a shoe? A shoe to defend himself.

[heroic_jawline]

"That is definitely a crocodile," said Jensen with absolutely zero level of expertise, "or, like, a Rottweiler."

[imafuturist]

"It is not a crocodile," he said, rolling his eyes. But the Rottweiler thing? That was distinctly possible based on the clawing happening out there.

Harry shoved the shoe at him. "Go check it out."

[heroic_jawline]

"Oh, age before beauty, my man," Jensen said, shoving the shoe right back.

[imafuturist]

"Thinking pretty highly of yourself there," Harry muttered, taking the shoe back to creep over to the door. Very carefully. Very wary. Since this was a kidnapping situation and all.

[heroic_jawline]

"These cheekbones speak for themselves," Jensen said, climbing out of bed and heading in the opposite direction just in case the other dude was about to be horribly maimed by a velociraptor or something.

[imafuturist]

"I'm gonna open this on the count of three," Harry whispered.

[heroic_jawline]

"On it," Jensen assured him, holding a stupidly expensive, stupidly modern lamp above his head.

[imafuturist]

"Okay, three... two... one..." The moment he opened that door, a hungry corgi came flying in at that, causing Harry to scream and throw the shoe wildly, hitting the hallway wall. Nowhere near the threat.

[heroic_jawline]

"PUPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPY!"

Very chill, Jensen.

[imafuturist]

"Are you fucking serious right now?" Harry asked, having fallen on his ass during that entire attack.

[heroic_jawline]

"Who's a good puppy?" Jensen was asking the dog. "Is it you? Is it you?"

[imafuturist]

"Demon dog," Harry countered as Patty wiggled his butt so hard because he didn't have a tail to wag.

[heroic_jawline]

"You're jealous because he loves me and hates you," Jensen decided, already down on the ground to play with the corgi.

[imafuturist]

"I don't need a dog's affection." But he wanted it now. Damn it.

[heroic_jawline]

"Oh, you definitely do," Jensen told him.

[imafuturist]

"Shouldn't we be figuring out where the hell we are?" Other than a very, very fancy building.

[heroic_jawline]

"But we've got a giant bedroom and a puppy," Jensen said. "Maybe it sucks out there."

[imafuturist]

"How could it suck?" There could be a robot butler who would be very surly about exploring.

[heroic_jawline]

"Maybe the rest of it is a warehouse," Jensen said.