Ben's Chili Bowl, Washington DC

[heroic_jawline]

So an American institution was turning 60 today, so Natasha had made a call and gotten a different American institution invited to the party.

Which was why Steve and Hardison were standing in the middle of the block party at Ben's Chili Bowl, listening to the music and enjoying the food.

Mmm, half-smokes with chili.

"They're unveiling their new mural today, too," Steve said between bites. "The last one had Bill Cosby in it, so that got awkward."

[OOC: For the guy with the terrible Chicago taste in hot dogs!]

Comments

[geniuswithasmartphone]

THAT NOTE WAS HURTFUL, STEVE.

"Yeah, I remember," Hardison said, looking around with a little smile. "We ran a con here in...2015, I wanna say. Found a bunch of old FBI bugs from the 60s, back when this place was meetin' place durin' the Civil Rights movement."

[heroic_jawline]

Steve nodded. "Heard Reverend Jackson was here earlier," he said with a smile. "Still enjoys the food."

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"Chili's this good it's worth chancin' a heart attack," Hardison said with a chuckle, unconsciously tapping his foot to the beat. "I'm surprised we ain't seen the Obamas yet."

[heroic_jawline]

"Oooh," Steve said like the fanboy he was, craning his neck to spot Secret Service presence. "Should we say hi if we do?"

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"You kiddin' me? Hell yeah! An' take selfies with 'em so I can send 'em back to my Nana an' make her whole year." Hardison said, also craning his neck around.

They were allowed to be fanboys, dammit.

[heroic_jawline]

"Christmas card," Steve said. "Tony would be so jealous."

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"Ten bucks says he Photoshops himself in there somewhere," Hardison said, snickering.

[heroic_jawline]

Steve burst out laughing around a mouthful of half-smoke. "He absolutely would. Probably over my head. Now he's met Obama and he's taller."

[geniuswithasmartphone]

Hardison had to quickly swallow a mouthful of chili before he choked on it, following it down with a long chug of orange soda. "It's Christmas," he said, "time of miracles."

[heroic_jawline]

"That's what he can write underneath," Steve said, nodding oh-so-sincerely.

The jerk.

[geniuswithasmartphone]

Honestly, listening to Steve and Tony troll each other was one of the best parts about his friendship with both of them.

"While you secretly Photoshop in a stepstool," Hardison snickered. "I think Eliot's favorite part of the times we become women is finally bein' taller'n me."

And also a quarter inch taller than he usually was, not counting heels.

[heroic_jawline]

Shittalking: one of the five love languages.

Steve burst out laughing. "I was still taller, I think," he said, "but I've turned wheezy and short enough that he gets to lord that over me."

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"Oh, me, I get tiny," Hardison laughed. "It's messed up. I'm somethin' like five-four as a girl. It's ridiculous!"

[heroic_jawline]

"I got short, but Tony got shorter," Steve said with a grin.

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"Awww, now I wanna see you all dolled up with victory rolls," Hardison teased.

Because love.

[heroic_jawline]

"Those things were a pain," Steve said. "I have no idea where Peggy found the time."

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"Peggy?" Hardison asked, propping his chin on his fist. "The woman from the movies?"

[heroic_jawline]

Steve's smile turned fond and wistful. "That's her. She's incredible. First time I met her, she punched a guy who was easily a foot taller than her square between the eyes."

Steve liked his girls terrifying, okay.

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"I get that," Hardison said with a soft smile of his own. "One of the first things I ever saw Parker do was stab a dude with a fork an' then steal a tazer."

Hearts in his eyes.

[heroic_jawline]

"Nice," Steve said, and meant it. "Peggy, in one of her good days, told me about the day she'd threatened a guy in an automat with a butterknife for being fresh with the waitress."

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"Sounds like the kind of lady I'd get along with," Hardison approved. "Nana was a Freedom Rider," he added, gesturing at the building around them. "Where she met her husband. Hard to grow up not respectin' badass women when she's the one raisin' you."

[heroic_jawline]

"That's incredible," Steve said with a grin. "I'd love to meet her some time."

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"She comes to visit sometimes," Hardison said. "Next time she comes, I'll make sure to call y'all." His smile turned pleased and shy at the same time. "I think you'd really like her. Just never talk about cooking with her."

He liked Steve and didn't want him murdered.

[heroic_jawline]

"So I shouldn't bring her a Jello salad to say hi?"

Steve. Steeeeeeeeeeeve.

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"I take it back," Hardison said immediately. "You ain't allowed to meet my Nana ever in your whole life."

[heroic_jawline]

"I'll stick to flowers?" Steve said.

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"Smart," Hardison said. "I had to convince Parker not to give her diamonds. Not even if she paid for them."

[heroic_jawline]

"Tony kept talking about diamonds," Steve said with a little blush. "Or sapphires. I negotiated him down to dinner. He has trouble realizing what's a little...much...for a gift."

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"I think Parker just likes shiny things," Hardison said, chuckling. "And knows that other people value them. So wait, was Tony tryna drape you in diamonds an' sapphires back when you first got together?"

[heroic_jawline]

"For my birthday last month," Steve said. "We went to Italy instead. That, when you're dating Tony Stark, is considered a compromise."

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"Man, don' look at me like that, I'm on Tony's side," Hardison declared, laughing. "My partners see our big days as chances to go campin' or leapin' off somethin' high or an unholy combination of both. I'd love to go to Italy instead!"

[heroic_jawline]

"I absolutely refuse unless it's part of a mission," Steve said, "but jumping off of things is fun!"

Steve. Steve, no.

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"Your idea of fun got all messed up in the war an' needs to be recalibrated," Hardison declared. "Why can't y'all be satisfied with fun you can have with feet on the ground?"

[heroic_jawline]

"Because it's more fun when you're falling?" Steve countered.

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"That is just not even true," Hardison said, shaking his head. "How many times you fall on your head that you think that? I need to know how concerned I oughta be."

[heroic_jawline]

"I don't fall on my head," Steve said. "I fall on other parts."

There! Much better, right?

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"You really think that's makin' your case for you?"

[heroic_jawline]

"Yeeees?" Steve tried. "Sometimes I land on the shield!"

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"I know the words comin' outta your mouth aren't the ones you think they are," Hardison declared. "Cause you're really tryna give me that like it's helpin'."

[heroic_jawline]

"It's supposed to be helping!" Steve said, flailing around for another hotdog to shut himself up.

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"How is you purposely landin' on a metal disk s'posed to be helpin'?!" Hardison asked.

[heroic_jawline]

"It's not breaking the tables or people around it?" Steve tried.

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"Nah, it's your arms an' ribs I'm more worried about," Hardison snorted. "Not to mention the floor beneath it."

[heroic_jawline]

"I recover pretty fast," Steve said with a grin. "I can jump out of planes without a chute and be fine."

Don't get Tony started on that particular habit.

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"...An' the floors?" he asked, because if he touched that so-called excuse, he'd scream.

[heroic_jawline]

"Sometimes the floors are a little dented," Steve admitted. "I send a check!"

[geniuswithasmartphone]

Hardison was just going to throw his hands up in the air and gesture. Angrily.

While sputtering.